Left with two weeks of FunkyBowl hype to fill, the Weekly Recap asked its own analyst to predict the results of FunkyBowl X. So here in the booth we have ex-Slateholder and Controversy Liaison Mike "Goose" Godsey to tell us how it's going to be. Mike?

Thanks, Recap. This is how it's going to shake down. Basically, Bill gets first pick as to which team is going to win. So he'll probably take the Colts. That means Diane has to pick the Bears.

HOWEVER, if Bill has the stones to do it, he should pick the Bears and "cover" Diane's pick. This leaves her with nothing but a SuperPick's chance, and maybe not even that. But of course, there's a slight chance that this this could backfire -- that Diane has the guts to foresee this move and take the highly favored Colts, and making Bill look real silly.

But with Diane it's different. She not only needs the guts to make the crazy pick (the Colts), she needs the guts to count on Bill to make a crazy pick (the Bears). It's doubly gutsy, and therefore, borderline insane/stupid. All the more reason for Bill to take the Bears.

But in the end, I think Bill will take the safe route. He could take the Colts for 1 and cut into the "Bears by a bit" margin, or he could take the Colts for 13 and practically cover the Colts entirely. Since Diane is unlikely to risk a low Bears pick being covered by a low Colts pick, he will probably go high, especially since he might trap her into a high Colts pick and cover her there.

Diane, meanwhile, has the guts to pick the Colts, but I don't think she has the faith in Bill's nerve, and so she'll pick the Bears, and high enough to avoid being covered by a low Colts pick.

If I were Bill, I would pick the Bears by 4; if I were Diane I would pick the Colts for 4 and hope that Bill outthought himself or hope for a SuperPick. But I'm an idiot has-been that missed the playoffs entirely.

What will happen:
Diane: Bears 7
Bill: Colts 13 (maybe 1)
Final Score: Bears 27, Colts 23
Diane wins the Slate (or Bill wins by 3)

[publication saved for kickoff]

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Time to Pay The Bill Again
Ellis joins FunkyElite with 2nd Slate
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Here at Weekly Recap, we don't understand why the announcers referred to 
both Dominic Rhodes and Dominique Rhodes, along with both Daniel Manning and 
Danielle Manning.  We also don't understand why Shannon Sharpe kept saying 
that Grossman "needs to play better in the 2nd half" when Grossman had
a QB 
rating of 120.  We don't understand why the Bears continued to play a soft 
defense against a quarterback who is 128-0 against soft defenses.  And we 
don't understand half those commercials (lions discussing Taco Bell?).
     But we do understand this:  Bill Ellis has won FunkyBowl XI and has 
become just the fourth poolster to win multiple Slates.  Even though the 
hardware almost stayed in the Emerton household, Ellis is staking a claim as 
the New Dynasty.  He has now won the Slate in two of the past three years, 
and finished 3rd in the other (and finished 5th four years ago).
    Ellis was in fourth place after Week 16, but won the final week outright 
to take the regular season "title."  Almost more impressively, he held
off 9 
other playoff poolsters who were within 25 points.  His key move was picking 
the Patriots to beat the Chargers in the 2nd round, a victory that somehow 
took him all the way through the FunkyBowl.
    FunkyBowl XI in itself was one of the more exciting FunkyBowls in FMNFLP 
history.  Bill had the Slate in his hands for an entire 14 seconds before 
the Bears returned the opening kickoff and gave Diane the lead.  The Slate 
changed hands a total of four times before halftime, until Bill's Colt lead 
started to look safe (Diane needed the Bears to win by 6 or more).
    Diane's fantastic season ends in 2nd place for the second straight 
season.  She joins the Dylans as just the third poolster to make the 
FunkyBowl in back-to-back seasons.  Unfortunately, she also joins DOliver 
and Jen Retsek as the third poolster to make the FunkyBowl twice without 
winning a Slate.  In any case, she's arguably been the biggest force in the 
FMNFLP over the past three years, short of Bill Ellis; and she is part of 
the Emerton family, who has made the Final Four seven times over the last 
three seasons.
    Congratulations to Bill Ellis, a worthy champion -- again.  And thanks 
to Eric Emerton and JLee for all the hard work over the years.  Hopefully, 
we'll see the rest of y'all next year.  Stay tuned for the Recap from FunkO
Vegas, coming up next.