WEEK ONE RECAP:
"Week 1 is dumb" -- Patrick Godsey, last Wednesday



DIANE EMERTON LEAPS OUT OF THE GATE
FunkyPool suffers slow start, DE takes early lead
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Amidst a collective football-picking effort that can only be described as 
mediocre, boring, unprideful, and just plain bad, Diane Emerton rose 
straight to the top in Week 1, earning a two-touchdown lead over 2nd place 
Adam Jennings, putting the average poolster about 30 points back, and 
throwing Eric Franzen and Kathy Walser in an immediate 50-point hole.
     Diane's 96 points were the fewest to win a 136-point week since 2002, 
when Angela Sabbe won Week 12 with 78.  And it's only the 3rd time in the 
history of the FMNFLP that a 136-point week has been taken down with 
double-digits.  On the other hand, it's also the first time in Funky history 
that anybody has opened up a double-digit lead (14) in the first week of the 
season.
     Diane's fifth career weekly win breaks a personal drought of 37 weeks 
and passes Mike Bernard and Scott Wyatt on the all-time list, tying Wego and 
SchussDaddy.  Mike Godsey finished in the money for the 58th time in his 
life, which is second on the all-time list, two behind Sabbe's overall lead 
(stats out next week, hopefully).
      As for the rest of you in general, the stats coming out next week may 
very well show that this was one of the worst weeks of picking football 
games in FMNFLP history.  Nice job.

"Week 1 was so dumb"
- Patrick Godsey, this Wednesday


THE WEEKLY RECAP RETURNS
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In case nobody told you, the Weekly Recap is back.  Sensing the need for 
rejuvenation from within the FunkyPool, Eric Emerton took the reins of the 
website, and Mike Godsey resurrected the Weekly Recap.  Emerton and JLee 
have salvaged some of the archives, but (more importantly) they are 
frantically recovering all the shelved info, and thus we should have some 
kick-ass stats starting next week.
     For those of you that haven't fully perused the new website, we 
encourage you to check out some of E's work in StatCentral, where some new 
tables and graphs are already blossoming.  Also featured on the "new" 
website is an (actually updated) quote of the week, a (already thrice 
updated) "did you know," and a very handy place to vote for Pick of the Week 
and Clown Pick of the Week (where once interest flagged, there are 12 votes 
for Clown of the Week this week).
    Kudos to Emerton for the work he's already done, and major props if he 
and JLee actually restore all the "missing" archival text.


FMNFLP MAKES ANOTHER MATCH!
No longer just competitive poolsters, Kathy and Wyatt are now lovers
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Tully "Funky" Wyatt upstaged the NFL this weekend, trumping Ozzy Ozbourne's 
music, Freddy Prinz Jr.'s monologue, and Jerry Rice sitting behind a CBS 
desk between four other closeted individuals, when he finally took Kathy 
"Wathy" Walser to his favorite place in the whole world, and proposed.  She 
said yes.  We believe this is at least the fourth time the FunkyPool has 
inspired "love beyond football" (not counting Adam and Schussel), but this 
time we don't have to change any initials.
     The recent match makes Wyatt's 14 points *against* his own Dolphins and 
*for* Kathy's Broncos even more interesting.  Did K-Dub demand rights to 
"the pants" before she said yes?  Perhaps Wyatt just picked the Broncos 
because they *never* win in Miami, and they were due.  Maybe because Jake 
Plummer hasn't thrown *that* many more interceptions than touchdowns in his 
career.  Maybe because Rod Smith is still a dangerous 48 years old.  Let's 
just hope that when he says he "loves" Kathy, he means it differently than 
when he talks about his "beloved" Dolphins.



You would've won the week if the following teams had won:
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Mike Godsey: OAK
(Any other game could've gone the other way, and Diane still wins)



PICKS OF THE WEEK:
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An impressive 10 poolsters came out to vote for POW, and three picks rose 
above the rest.  Diane Emerton's low pick on the Rams basically sealed up 
the week for her, and Adam Jennings was nominated for his dozen on Dallas 
(though none of the nominators really wanted to talk about it).  But Mike 
Godsey's Pewter Pride got him a solo shot (a rare thing these days; stats 
coming next week hopefully), a money finish, and enough votes for his fifth 
all-time POW.
     But Godsey finished one vote short of getting his 10th COW with his 
7-spot on the Raiders, a pick which, if reversed, would've iced 2nd place 
and earned a few more bucks.  Two votes for Godsey, two votes for Kurt's 
love of Houston, two clown votes from the Retsek household concerning 
Kathy's dozen on the Jets at Arrowhead (just one reason she's down fitty 
right now), and two votes on Kathy's full boat on Denver.  Kathy's full boat 
on Denver?  This reminds us of something: The Weekly Recap, written by the 
always sober, always fair and balanced Michael Godsey, will go to great 
lengths to be sure the Weekly Recap is always sober, fair, and balanced.  
But we are going to start a new feature, called:

CAN WE JUST SAY?
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We all picked Denver.  For an average of about 11 points.  Kathy loves the 
Broncos and always picks them for 16.  And she had just been proposed to.  
By a man who claims to be a Dolphin fan.  Who picked the Broncos for 14.  
How can she even be *nominated* for losing a measly 124 dots on her favorite 
team, when it was only 2 points more than the Dolphin fan?  People see her 
in a 50-point hole and start shovelling in the dirt for the 16, but nobody 
nominates Wyatt for the 14?  If you don't want to look closely before 
voting, that's fine.  Just saying.

PICKS OF THE WEEK (continued)
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Since 4 people tied for COW, we think maybe nobody gets the COW.  But now 
we're remembering that maybe there's some rule where a tie is broken if 
somebody is nominated multiply.  That would be Kathy.  (and we're not even 
counting her pick to say "yes" to Wyatt.)  (hahahahahahahahahaha....man, 
this is fun.)
      Full commentary and voting results are now available on the website.  
Next week, make sure to make those votes before Tuesday -- we're gonna get 
this shit out on time this year.


Funky Retires from the Council
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Over the offseason, the King of Retirement (he has retired from hoop a 
record 128 times now; plus he just likes the sound of the word "retire") 
announced his retirement from the Council.  Those of you that are in front 
of closed doors might not really notice a difference, but trust us, without 
the "Voice of the People" things will be a little different.  How different, 
or in what way different, we don't know.  Maybe just more quiet.  If nothing 
else, it lowers the Council's number to four, supposedly making it even more 
difficult to pass new laws and invite new players.  We'll see.


"Big" Dave Winter Retires Completely
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Just in case anybody wasn't going to notice, Dave Winter has officially hung 
up the darts for good and will not compete any longer in the FMNFLP.  If 
there was a defining characteristic about Winter, it was his absolute lack 
of defining character in this pool.  He greatly nonplussed the Gods of 
Mediocrity when he finshed 11-13th for 5 out of 6 seasons in a row.  He has 
a 49er helmet next to his face, but never really picked them.  Never 
boasted, never celebrated, never voted.  Winter had 7 career weekly wins, 
but he was actually better known for the time he lost 11-1 to Team Old 
School in a game of 2-on-2 even though Money was his teammate (the first 
time, and last time that will happen again).



QUOTE OF THE WEEK?
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"Hey, whatup fool?  Franzen.  I'm in Houston and haven't had internet access 
for awhile, man, so I'm dying to how the FMMLP went.  Curious to know what 
the hell happened in the NFL and if I'm in the lead, dude."
     - Franzen, on Wednesday evening, with 47 points.



Next Week:
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Eric Emerton likes to call these kind of weeks "moving weeks."  Patrick 
Godsey likes to call them "dumb."  No matter what you call it, it's going to 
be in-ter-esting next week.  Those that pick with the spread (and pick all 
favorites) are going to have to pick
against Carolina at home
against Oakland at home
against Jacksonville for like 15
against Minnesota
against Atlanta against an 0-1 team, and
against the Saints on the nationally televised "Katrina Relief Weekend" meanwhile picking on the Broncos on the Cowboys (huge) on the RoadLions (huge) on the Packers (huge) on the Jets (huge) and on the Cardinals.

Oh and Kathy: Patrick's got his full boat on the way to Denver already. And Kevin: The Bengal Boat is ready when you are.

Good luck with that.
See ya next week.