New Mug, Old Pride: Ellis kicks off the FunkyFestivities
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He’s got a new headshot on the FunkyDome website, but he’s still  
delivering the same head shots from the Green Bay secondary:  Bill  
Ellis used the same ingredients (conservative picks along with some  
massive Team Pride) for yet another molotov cocktail right into our  
teeth.  (Or was that a little graphic?)  In any case, his full boat on  
the Packers led to his 6th Weekly Win in 19 weeks, as he attempts to  
win the Slate for the 4th time in five years.
        Team Pride was an exciting factor in Week 1 as Kathy rode her  
Broncos to second place; Robert Emerton (third place) would have won  
the week if he maxed out his Defending Champion Giants instead of the  
Colts, and his son Eric (fourth place) would have won the week if he  
had picked his Panthers.
         Equally delightful was the return of the Smack Page, where  
the Raiders have already been bashed, Sabbe’s manhood has already been  
questioned, and a Jets fan is  somehow already disappointed by a win  
that hasn’t happened yet.  It was good to see Kevin Sabbe’s pretty  
face again, we had a legitimate Quote of the Week for the first time  
since 2004, and you know it’s time to start making Thanksgiving plans  
when you see Patrick Godsey has responded to Charger bashing with a  
simple date.

Stats and Observations:

The Weekly Win was Banker Bill’s sixth in just over a year, but it was  
only his eighth overall?  It ties him for tenth on the all-time list.
DOliver picked up right where he left off--after finishing 16th or  
lower in the final six weeks of 2008, Dylan starts the year in last  
place.
It’s been 14 weeks since Ron Salvatori has won a single penny in this  
pool.
It’s a new year for Kathy Wathy: After 8 straight weeks of finishing  
15th or lower, she finally cashes in.
After 8 years in the pool, Franzen has only finished in second place  
one time.


If Only...

Scott Farnsworth would’ve won the week if the Jags or ‘Skins had won.   
He would’ve won by 10 points if the Bucs had won.

Kathy would’ve won the week if Chaz Cinco and the crew had come through.

Diane would’ve won with wins by the Dolphins or Browns.

The Godfather would’ve won with a win by the Colts, Vikes, or Raiders.



Adam Jennings falls short of all-time record, rides off into smoggy  
sunset
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After mulling retirement for a Farvian few years, FunkyVeteran Adam  
Jennings finally hung up the darts for good.  He didn’t exactly  
present a tearful press conference -- he simply forgot to make his  
picks, and then realized he didn’t care.  At least his actions almost  
had the mark of legend: He almost tied Franzen atop the list of all- 
time last-place  finishes.  With his 21st trip to the basement, Adam  
will be in the Bottom 3 for quite awhile--fourth place Scott  
Farnsworth has only 14 ignoble disasters.
	Adam peaked in 2001, when he finished in 7th place and used to post  
on the Smack Page.  Since then, he’s created a super-rad living and  
breathing machine named Jasper Jennings, he’s become Vice Principal of  
Foothill High, and has even offered Godsey a job teaching alongside  
Bradley and Heinitz (in 1992, you could’ve gotten a million-to-one  
odds on that).
	After 13 years in the pool, Adam finished with 4 Weekly Wins, 44  
money finishes (13th on the all-time list), 5 solo shots (8th on the  
all-time list), and 9 Picks of the Week (4th on the all-time list).   
While his .30 winning percentage (4th-worst all-time) is hardly the  
kind of thing that will inspire young Falcons, Adam will always (or at  
least for the next 8-12 years) be remembered for his short yet  
scathingly truthful bits of smack, the brevity of which often undercut  
Godsey’s verbose rants in both efficiency and overall wit.   He will  
be missed.

Pick of the Week!
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Mrs. Emerton earns her 7th POW with an excellent and convincing dime  
on a team that only 3 of us picked.  Honorable mention to Wyatt’s full  
boat on the Cardinals.  Dishonorable non-mention to Bill’s Packer  
pick, which was the highest dot total for any winning pick this week,  
showed noble pride, and won the week for him -- c’mon people.

Clown of the Week!
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Even though this publication has been quite outspoken in the past  
regarding the fact that COW actually stands for “Clown PICK of the  
Week,” even we support sending off Adam Jennings with a full clown  
suit.  Finishing a 13-year career by forgetting to show up to the  
game?  Let’s see him on the website just one last time, just before he  
slappily slaps his floppy shoes offstage.


Next Week!  (Tomorrow!)
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In what should be a full-boat head-on collision that has both AFC West  
and FunkyPool implications, we look forward to a single game:

ChargerNation at Kathy’s Broncos

See ya there...