Saabe Sells Soul, Whores Himself to the Top
14 within 16 points going into Moving Week
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With a 1 on Bill's Packers, a 2 on Diane's Bills, a 3 on the rival 49ers,
a
4 on Scott's Giants, a 5 on Money's Bears, a 9 on Sully's Pats, a
double-digit 11 on BAMF's interdivision Chargers, a 13 on Kathy's
interdivision "Shanabitch"-coached Broncos, a 14 on Godsey's Bengals,
Chris
"Stop picking the Nati!" Sabbe put his full boat *against* his very own
Raider flag and, with the Devil himself riding shotgun in the "I'm not
sick;
I just have a bug" Volkswagen, won Week 2. Lucky for the rest of us, the
Devil is getting irritated at the glove compartment door bouncing off his
knees, and looks like he might jump out at any second -- and Sabbe's newly
discovered overall lead is tenuous at best: Almost everybody is within 25
points, including 8 players below the "playoff line." Sabbe's 14th
weekly
win places him 3rd on the all-time list, and his 65th money finish is second
only to Godsey's 66.
Zack Schwartz followed his debut victory with an atrocious 23rd-place
performance, dropping him all the way below the playoff line for the season
-- but not before passing Sabbe with a "at least I wasn't 23rd all season
like some people" on the way down. It was Zack's first-ever 23rd place
finish.
Jason Lee finished 3rd, tying him with Eric Emerton for 4th on the
all-time list of money finishes. KenDoggie, the only one to win cash in
both weeks this season, finished 6th.
Judge Finds Godsey Guilty in Premature Circling Charges
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After being invited to Money Retsek's home opener in San Luis Obispo (new
sweet TV, new sound system, new internet connection, etc.), Mike Godsey
circled the Eagle victory in mid-4th quarter. And then watched Money's
Eagles (150 dots) proceed to surrender the first 17-point 4th-quarter lead
in something like 28 years.
Judge Money declared that "this might be the quickest anyone has
ever had their season ticket revoked," but Godsey remained unabashed. "It's
a ridiculous superstition. This is the first time a team I've circled has
lost, while the team I've circled has *won* about 1,200 times. If anything,
he should want me to circle teams he wants to win. It's not my fault he
picks teams that surrender 17-point leads -- and can't even win after I
circle them."
Stats!
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- 9 players moved at least 6 places in the standings this week.
- Money Retsek has not gone 2-0 with any of his 1-7 picks. Neither has his
wife.
- There is not one team that we've all picked perfectly this season.
Pick of the Week!
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Kevin Sabbe put a 15 on his Viking Pride, who pulled off a 400-dot victory
over the Panthers. Kevin sits on the throne. Chris Sabbe has still never
won POW.
And Kurt Schwartz liked his rainbow wig so much, he's decided to keep
it. One more pick like "Road Rams for 15" and we might just call it a
rainbow toupe. He is on pace for 17 COWs this year.
If Only...
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You would've won the week if...
Kathy -- Steelers
Diane -- Jets
Robert -- Rams or Cardinals
Papa Emerton -- Dolphins
Next week!
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Money's Bears at Kevin's Vikes
Zack's Jets at Diane's Bills
Kathy's Broncos at Sully's Jets
And a feature article titled: "Sabbe's soul for 15 bucks -- Who got the
better deal?"
See ya then....
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