KenDoggie is Week 2's One Star
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This past weekend, a new tragedy released by NFL Films titled "Burned
After Week 2" underwent some scathing reviews. The film's message was
decried as amoral, the special effects were offensively weak, and
veteran performer Ed Hochuli's motivation was universally questioned.
But we have to say this: KenDoggie did a great job playing the part of
the "lucky Raider fan who put considerably more points on the rival
Broncos than his own Raiders, who actually won their game
legitimately"; and though he has notoriously little experience as the
"weekly winner" character, he out-shined an entire cast of hapless
losers. While this bit of Hollywood is already out of theaters, and
not recommended for rental, KenDoggie's performance wins the weekly
award.
Ken also pulled into a overall first-place tie with former champion
Eric Emerton, just two points ahead of Banker Bill. Kathy Wathy,
fueled by the drama in Denver, lurks just four points out, and ten
other poolsters are within 20 points of the lead.
Stats and Observations
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- It's been 5 years to the week since Ken Vis has won the week. It
was only his second week in the pool, and he hadn't won since. His
84-week streak of losing was the longest current streak, and the
closest thing to breaking Patrick Godsey's record of 125 weeks without
a win -- making the Fiasco at Invesco all the more excruciating for
Charger Nation.
- Eric Franzen is now our new "leader" -- he hasn't won in 76 weeks.
- HORRIBLE! We missed DOliver's solo shot last week -- a 3 on the
Bears, who won by 16 points.
- Keith Wengronowitz hasn't been ridiculed with a COW since 1999.
If Only...
If Sabbe would've switched his Raider pick with his full boat on the
Seahawks (the Seahawks?), he would've won the week.
If a Denver quarterback had fumbled the ball at the end of the game
and a Charger had recovered it, or if a replay camera hadn't
"malfunctioned" for the first time in NFL history, or maybe even if
the NFL hadn't ripped an extra 10 seconds off the clock at the end of
the game for absolutely no reason, then Mike Godsey would've won the
week (and would be winning the league).
If the Lions would've won, Sabbe would've won the week. Whatever that
means.
If the Vikings could get, like, a single first down anywhere near the
end of the game, Salvatori would've won the week.
If the Saints had won (winning with 2 minutes remaining, right?),
Jennaroo would've killed us.
If Philly had won on Monday night, Kathy would've gone on and won the
entire week. We're not really sure how this didn't happen.
DOliver-sponsored look at the Dots!
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Technically speaking, according to the GDI, the best pick of the week
was Farnsworth's Buffalo pick (405 dots), and the worst pick of the
week was Franzen's full boat on the Eagles (498 dots). But let's
bring it to the people...
Pick/Clown of the Week!
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Indeed, the enthusiastic mob praised Scott Farnsworth for his dozen on
the Buffalo Bills. With the mute exception of Diane Emerton, everyone
ignored Franzen's Philly cheese, and once again focused on the
striking pose of Scott Farnsworth and his dirty 13 on the dirty
birds. Not since 1997 has there been an recorded instance of somebody
winning a full POW and a full COW in the same week. The multiple
masks of Scott Farnsworth! A crown atop a rainbow fro. Only on SF
could it look so natural.
Next Week!
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Zack's J-E-T-S at Charger Nation on Monday night.
Otherwise, it's getting kind of hard to tell who's cheering for a team
anymore, so it's hard to promote any real "rivalry."
Raider Nation at Diane's Bills?
Schwartz's Dolphins at Patriot fan's Patriots?
Emerton's Panthers at Kevin's Vikings?
Cowboy Hassanali's Cowboys at Banker Bill's Pack?
Zack's J-E-T-S at Charger Nation on Monday Night it is!
See ya then...
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