FORE! 3-time Snicker Champ takes the week
3-time Slate Winner drives back into first place
-------------------------------------------------
Thanks to a Texas-size win over them there mammal-fish, Mike "SchussDiesel"
Schussel -- known more for his habit of dominating the local golf circuit (3 
trophies? We're not sure) (and don't care really, so don't write in 
to 
correct us) -- took down Week 4 with a tiebreaker.  Meanwhile, Eric Emerton, 
himself an owner of all sorts of bizarre Funky-related golf records, made a 
drive towards his 4th Slate by reclaiming the overall top spot he owned last 
year.
     In other cash-related news, Funky Wyatt made $4 by picking against his 
Dolphins, Ken Vis finally finished out of the money, and Mike Godsey 
finished in last place for the 16th time in his career.


Stats!
-------
- Godsey is now tied with Eric Franzen and Adam Jennings with 16 last-place 
finishes all-time.  Perhaps they made some kind of pact when they were 
younger.  That's the kind of thing they would've done.

- Lifetimers JLee and DOliver, plus Dylan Retsek (10 years), Bill Ellis (9 
years), and Wego (8 years) have *combined* for 11 last-place finishes.

- Yes, it's 5:30am; and no, this won't be done until the midterms are done
this afternoon.  Teaching English is hard.

- Godsey, the all-time leader in both weekly wins and money finishes, has 
not won the week in 26 weeks, and has only won $7 over the past 15.

- Emerton's weekly win is the 57th of his career, tying him for 4th on the 
all-time list with JLee.

- It is also Emerton's *12th* money finish in the last 20 weeks.

- Over those 20 weeks, Godsey, Wego, JLee, Sabbe, Franzen, Schussel, and 
Bill Ellis have 11 money finishes.

- It has been 84 weeks since Bill Ellis has won a week.

- It has been 104 weeks since Wego has finished in last place.

- It has been 159 weeks since Dylan Oliver has had a solo shot.

- Eric Emerton is 40-0 with the Bears, Giants, Colts, Cardinals, Ravens, 
Cowboys, Eagles, Titans, Chargers, Bucs, and Seahawks.

- Farnsworth is 0-12 in games with the Saints, Rams, and Panthers.

- In drastic contrast to the first 3 weeks, only 3 players (Schuss, Godsey, 
and Zack) moved more than 4 places in overall standings.

- It is now afternoon, midterms are done, and the A's just swept the Twins? 
We're so drunk.




If Only....
----------
Patrick Godsey would've won the week (instead of finishing 23rd) if Zona had
won.

Money would have won if his anti-Dallas pick had come through.

Sully wins with the Jets.

EEEEEEEEE woud've won if Miami could've beat HOUSTON.  Or if Seattle 
could've won.

JLee would've won the week if God hadn't knocked the Chargers' field
goal 
out of the air.

Farnsworth would've won if the Lions had won, which is a lot like saying I 
could be dating Jennifer Aniston if....

Speaking of which, Robert Emerton would've won the week if the Raiders knew 
how to play football.

Wyatt wins with Jacksonville.

Kevin Sabbe was teased for a half a game, and would've won the week with a 
Packer victory.


POW!
--------
Jason Sullivan got proud and nasty and almost single-handedly blew up that 
Bengals bandwagon.  POW!  It is Jason's *17th* Pick of the Week.  Nobody 
else has more than 9.

Meanwhile, Kevin Sabbe picked the Niners at Arrowhead for something like 9.  
Don't ask us to explain -- we simply report.  It is his 4.5th instance of 
award-winning idiocy.  In his defense...


The Return of "Just Saying"!
--------------------------------------
After years of claiming the Chiefs are allowed to cheat at Arrowhead, we 
just last weekend witnessed a 49er ruled down by contact, followed by a 
Chief challenge that he fumbled.  This is of course ridiculous since if 
we've learned ANYTHING over the past 5 years, it's that you can't challenge
a play that's been whistled dead.  The challenge is allowed to proceed for 
some completely inexplicable reason, and then the whistled-down tackle is 
actually overturned.  Furthermore, the replay shows that the fumble was 
recovered by a Chief who was just out of bounds, which is of course illegal. 
  The announcer notes that the Chief did a great job of establishing two 
feet in bounds before he touched the football.  ISN'T THIS AN NBA RULE????  
We know that they won something like 88-0, but still.  Just saying.


Quote of the week: "I have this friend who's such an 80s-phile that if 
he 
knew we were spending 10 minutes of class discussing why the Bangles made 
"Kremlin" into a three-syllable word "Krem-a-lin" in order to
retain 
regularity of poetic meter, he would start pogo-sticking all over this 
classroom."


Next Week
---------------
Diane's Bills at Money's Bears
Wyatt's Dolphins at Sully's Pats

And just one week after Money said "wouldn't it be great if the Niners 
and 
Raiders played this year?"
we have Raider Nation at JLee's Niners.  BATTLE OF THE BAY!

See ya then...