Democratic Iraq enjoys first-ever Schwartz victory
Bill Ellis Regime lets little people celebrate during anniversary
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In September of 2002, FMNFLP poolster Mike Godsey was driving to Righetti High School,
listening to the radio tell him that Arthur Andersen had just been convicted of 
shredding Enron documents, and that President Bush had just announced plans to attack
Iraq.  Buried under the headlines were the follow-up stories regarding the fact 
that Kurt Schwartz had just conquered the week in the FunkyPool.
        Five years later, the liberated Iraqi people enjoyed the ultimate fruits
of American capitalism when they watched the Cowboys kick not one, but two, game-winning
field goals on their plasma flat-screens, and then shot rifles in the air to celebrate
their first-ever Kurt Schwartz weekly win since the tanks rolled into Baghdad.
        Banker Bill Ellis, meanwhile, let the little people of FMNFLP celebrate 
during his anniversary retreat to Green Bay.  Finishing out of the money for the
first time since Week 16 of last season, the Bill Ellis Despotic Reign Of Terror
endured a storybook, but ultimately trivial, rebellion of sorts led by Schwartz 
and Scott Farnsworth.  Bill is still 36 points ahead of second place Jason Lee, 
and 135 points ahead of the long-overthrown 6-time Slate champions Eric Emerton 
and Money Retsek—and he’s back now by the way, so you might want to wipe that look
off your face before he crushes you.  Again.



Stats and Observations:
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- Newbie Salvatori is the pool’s leader in all-time point percentage (.695).

- No woman has ever finished in last place more times than Diane Emerton.  Her 9th
basement puts her in 9th place on the all-time list.

- Jen Retsek has yet to finish below 8th this season.

- Scott and Tully Wyatt, Mike and Pat Godsey, and Robert and Diane Emerton have 
yet to finish 8th or better this season.  Eric Emerton has yet to finish better 
than 15th.

- Bill Ellis is 25-1 with his picks that are 11 points or higher.  His one loss 
was an 11-pick.

- KenDoggie is now on the clock.  It has been 71 weeks since he has won the week.





If Only…

- If Dick Jauron had been smart enough to protect the only-play-possible 5-yard-out
pass play with eight defensive backs—or UH defensive back—Eric Franzen would have
won the week, and Kurt would be at 88 weeks without a weekly win.

- Franzen also wins with the Jets, or the Lions, or the Rams.

- Farnsworth wins with a Green Bay victory.  Or the Browns.  Or the Falcons.

- Kathy wins with her Broncos.

- If Money had used his full boat ON his Bears instead of against them, he would’ve
finished in the money.  Instead he finished fifth from the bottom, and now sits 
in last place for the season.



Pick of the Week!
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Iraq isn’t the only nation enjoying newfound democracy.  After DOliver roused the
people with a patriotic speech, a record-breaking 13 poolsters rocked the vote, 
9 of whom voted to give that very same DOliver the “Clown Pick of the Week” award
for his dozen points on Tampa Bay.

Meanwhile, a record-shattering ten poolsters voted BAMF’s 13 on the Bears as Pick
of the Week.  We don’t feel the need to comment since there’s over a page of comments
on the voting page.  Viva la people!



Next week!
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Raider Nation at Charger Nation!
Kevin Sabbe’s Vikings at Money’s Bears?


See ya then…