SchussDiesel Misses Runaway Truck Ramp: LOOK OUT
---------------------------------------
It was Week 4, and SchussDiesel passed Diane Emerton at the top of the grade 
and started rollin' heavy, and then he passed Kurt Schwartz on the right, 
and then he blew his air horn at Jen Retsek and waved, and then he pulled 
his pants down and pressed his ham against the window for Kevin Sabbe, and 
he won the week and then he got on his c.b. and radio'ed over "BAMF Kid,
it's always good to see you, we should hang out more, you look great, 
alright well I'm going to pass you now, over," and then he started pickin'
up some serious speed, too much speed, too much speed and there was no 
tension on the foot brake, the WegoMobile swerved out of the way just in 
time and WYATT LOOK OUT there's apparently no airbrakes either, there's 
nothing but a runaway truck ramp a mile away, he sees Goose and does 
something construction-managerish to the steering wheel to keep it steady 
and slides over the passenger seat and leans all the way out the window for 
a big minute-long hug with Goose at 90mph where he had a chance to yell "I 
saw you picked the Texans, that's awesome.  I love you, Man, seriously, I 
love you" into Goose's ear before he moves on and wins his second week 
out 
of three, one for each of his twins and now HE'S COMPLETELY MISSED the 
runaway truck ramp and he is still picking up speed he has won the THIRD 
WEEK OUT OF FOUR and maybe he's hammered on cheap beer that he bought with 
this money, or maybe he's not, but in any case LOOK OUT BILL, he's comin'
hard, Godsey actually dreams that the Texans will kill Jacksonville so he 
picks them *and* the Bucs kick a 62-yard field goal to win but it doesn't 
matter he won't even get money this week, GET OUT OF THE GODDAM WAY JUNIOR 
WYATT, and Money thinks it's a good time to for a rest stop and a nap and 
let Schuss go by and he is correct, MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY Zack, and 
why is SchussDaddy winning three weeks anyway he has twins he doesn't have 
triplets he's so out of control he only won 5 weeks in 9 years but now he 
has won 3 in 4 weeks and he is passing JLee on the all-time list and his 
passing JLee in the overall standings LOOK OUT FRANZEN Franzen's bumper gets
drilled and Franzen's new car goes spinning like Grand Theft Auto and 
DOliver gets crushed into the grill and Ken Vis you know you're a redneck 
when you "sense" a runaway rig and pull over to let it pass and now Schuss
is fully naked and he is pressing EVERYTHING against the window and Adam is 
laughing but he is getting passed nevertheless, LOOK OUT Kathy Robert and 
Sabbe he is only six points behind and chargin' hard.  Even Eric Emerton 
glances.  In his rear view mirror.  Again.  And grimaces.


Stats!
--------
- In just 11 years (missing the two years where the FunkyPopulation was 
dramatically small), Adam Jennings has now finished in last place 17 times, 
and is now on "top" of the all-time list.  Dylan Retsek, in 10 years, 
has 
finished in last place only once.

- Jason Sullivan finished in the money for the 58th time, passing Eric 
Emerton for third on the all-time list.

- Kevin Sabbe, who entered the league at the same time as Keith 
Wengronowitz, just won money for the 26th time, equaling Wego's total.

- Dylan Retsek won money, and now both Dylan's have 54 "money finishes."

- Kevin Sabbe was the only one who picked the Chiefs to beat the Chargers.  
It is his 9th career solo shot, third only to Godsey and Sullivan.  It was 
the the first solo shot of the year.

- Nobody besides Kevin Sabbe, Mike Godsey, or Dylan Retsek has hit a solo 
shot since 2004.

- The Brothers Godsey are still broke.  Only two others can say the same.  
Not once has one of the Godseys been noted in the "if only" section of
this 
newsletter.

- Only Chris Sabbe and Scott Wyatt are 16-0 with their 16-13 picks.

- Jennings is 2-5 with his 10-pick, and 2-5 with his 9-pick, but 7-0 with 
his 5-spot.

- Tully Wyatt is 30-0 with the Browns, Bears, Cowboys, Colts, and Niners.

- Bill Ellis is 0-7 in Eagle games.

- Jen Retsek and Robert Hassanali are 0-6 in Jaguar games.



If Only....

- If the Redskins had won, Kevin Sabbe would've won by 13 points.

- Kevin Sabbe also wins the week if the Raiders lose. To the Cardinals, but 
still.  Or if Buffalo had won.

- If Pittsburgh could keep from jumping offsides, Kevin Sabbe would've won 
the week.

- If Jacksonville could beat the Houston Texas, Kevin Sabbe would've won the
week.


POW!
-----
Robert Hassanali wins his FIRST EVER Pick of the Week award with his dirty 
dozen on the Pack.

And Jennings picked the Road Lions for 8.  That makes five pairs of floppy 
shoes in Adam's closet.



Next Week:

Zack's Jets at Jennings' Browns.
Sully's Pats at Kevin's Vikes.

Might be a moving week.  Good luck.