ÒYou get what you get, and you donÕt have a fitÓ:
Mama Emerton disciplines FunkyPool, takes lead.
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Diane likes to tell her 2-year-old son Ethan, ÒYou get what you get, and you donÕt have a fit,Ó and now all of us in the FMNFLP know what that feels like. We just got told.
The third poolster to ever complete a perfect week, Mrs. EmertonÕs performance might be the greatest regular season week in the poolÕs history. Not only did she have the week wrapped up before the Sunday night game (very rare), but she had it wrapped up by a minimum of twelve points. How is this possible? By gambling more dots than Franzen, and winning them all. ThatÕs right: Her dot total was third-highest in the pool (meaning her picks were the third-riskiest), and she won them all. On every single game, she picked the correct team and put more points on them then the pool in general. WeÕre not sure this has ever happened before.
League leaders Mike Godsey and Eric Emerton went pretty conservative (they were within 4 points of the same pick in every game except the Charger game and the Colts game) and were consequently overwhelmed and ultimately surpassed by DianeÕs creative genius. Diane is now leading the overall pool, with Godsey 8 back and Emerton 14. The pack is finally starting to drift backwards, with fourth-place sitting at 24 points back, and the playoff line at a solid 50.
Why is the pack finally drifting back? Because with the exception of Money Retsek (2nd place), Diane just beat all of us by more than 20 points each. Over half the pool just dropped 30 to the present leader. And poor Kathy and Kevin just lost half a hundred points each. WeÕll take a closer look at whether or not this was the greatest beatdown in FMNFLP history, but first....
Stats and Observations:
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DianeÕs 8th weekly win puts her 10th on the all-time list. She passes JLee and she is now tied with SchussDaddy, Wego, Jennaroo, and Banker Bill.
KathyÕs 10th last-place finish ties her with husband Tully for 8th on the all-time list, nowhere near FranzenÕs 23.
DianeÕs $279 jackpot is the most money ever won in a regular season week. The past record was MoneyÕs $215 in 2005. The jackpot is now $7.
Diane is 18-0 in games involving the Bengals, Vikings, or Titans.
Speed Racer is 6-0 with both the Bills and Texans.
Scott Farnsworth is 6-0 with both the Ravens and Texans.
Adam Jennings is 0-6 with the Redskins, who have baffled the entire pool.
Chris Sabbe is 1-6 with the Lions? The rest of the pool is over 75% with Detroit.
Mr. Emerton is 1-6 with the Packers. HeÕs gambled 29 points on them, and won 2 of them back.
Diane and Eric Emerton are both 7-0 with their 7-pick. ThatÕs kind of weird.
Robert Hassanali is 0-7 with his 5-pick.
JLee lost the week by 21 points and moved from 20th place to 14th.
Think you have it rough? Zack Schwartz had to watch his team lose the Raiders (in overtime), and now owes Franzen a case of beer, and he hasnÕt won a dime in this pool in 13 weeks.
Of the last 18 solo shots, 12 of them have been hit by Sabbes.
Best Week Ever?
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DianeÕs week made us consult the record book, and when the record book didnÕt satisfy us, we consulted the archives. We found that double-digit wins are rare, and extremely rare when they Òmatter.Ó Sabbe won a week by 19 points, but it was in the final week of a season from which he was already eliminated. Eric Emerton won a week by 19 points, but it was in Week 17 of a season that had no playoffs. The best week (ever) might be Kathy WyattÕs (then Walser) Week 12 in 2000, when she won the week by 17, and captured the overall lead from 24 back.
WeÕve had four perfect weeks in this pool, but two of them happened during the same week (with no upset picks), and the other two won the week by 1 point and 5 points. Big whoop. DianeÕs week featured two prideful picks, at least two (and arguably three or four) legit upsets, and it happened in the middle of a season where she jumped into first place from 17 back. The next best poolster (Money) missed three games, and she beat everyone else by at least 21.
ItÕs extremely difficult to us to prove that Diane is the first poolster to win all her dots in one week, but we think itÕs likely. Even during ÒperfectÓ weeks, the winner still wouldÕve preferred a game or two to go ÒwrongÓ in order to help him in the overall standings (not counting the jackpot, of course). This time, each and every game helped Diane in both the weekly and yearly standings.
We were surprised to discover, however, that she is nowhere near the record for most dots won in a single week (in other words, biggest smackdown on the pool in general). We donÕt even absolutely know what the record is, but Chris Sabbe once won almost 3,000 dots in that ÒinsignificantÓ Week 17 we mentioned earlier.
Largest margins of victory:
19; 2004, Week 17: Chris Sabbe (missed 3) (beat last place by 65)
19: 1994, Week 17: Eric Emerton (missed 6 of 14; only 6 others made picks)
17; 2000, Week 12: Kathy Walser (missed 2) (made up 24 points to tie for first)
16; 2000, Week 17: Mike Schussel (missed 2)
15; 2008, Week 7: Diane Emerton (missed 0)
15; 2000, Week 2: Kevin Sabbe (missed 2)
14; 2005, Week 1: Diane Emerton (missed 7)
13; 1999, Week 3: Jason Sullivan
13: 2004, Week 4: Mike Schussel (missed 1)
13; 2003, Week 9: Mike Schussel (missed 4)
13; 2001, Week 16: Dylan Oliver (missed 3)
12; 2007, Week 16: Mike Godsey (missed 1)
12; 2006, Week 10: Zack Schwartz (missed 6)
12; 2007, Week 2: Robert Hassanali (missed 2 of 16)
Most dots won:
2926; 2004, Week 17: Chris Sabbe (3297 won - 371 lost)
1842; 2007, Week 16: Mike Godsey (2136 won - 284 lost)
1472; 2008, Week 7: Diane Emerton (1472 won - 0 lost)
1432; 2007, Week 2: Robert Hassanali (1621 won - 189 lost)
Picks of the Week!
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Perhaps because we shut the polls down early (after the MNF game), perhaps because weÕre just beaten down, the voting was timid this week -- but Diane is your obvious winner. The people preferred her perfect Patriot pick over the Rams or Raiders, but whatever -- just a great week overall.
The WhoreÕs Lions pick was tabbed as the worst of the bunch for the second time in three weeks. We think that this means Sabbe has the all-time lead in total number of rainblow wigs, but maybe Emerton updated the standings already. Seriously Sabbe, the Lions? CalebÕs favorite team or something? Maybe Rachel really likes clowns?
Next Week!
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WyattÕs Cardinals at EmertonsÕ Panthers
DianeÕs Bills at KurtÕs Dolphins
See you then...
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