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After Halloween Scare, Funky Wins Week 8
E Emerton falls short of money, Saab's record
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Not to get too egocentric here, but it's probably safe to say that we all 
spent Halloween Night dressed up as pirates, drank rum like sailors, growled 
"ARRRR" and uttered the word "booty" as often as we could, and
suddenly 
noticed through our drunken haze that the MNF game was still close (was 
still on! what time is it anyway?) and realized that Wyatt's singing of 
"Easy Like Sunday Morning" was perhaps premature -- that perhaps Funky
Wyatt, wherever he was, was suffering his most horrific Halloween in years.  
We suddenly remembered that Baltimore's mascot is named after Poe's famous 
bird of foreboding....hmm.  Then we all stopped listening to the blonde 
sitting next to us as the Steeler longsnapper fired the football sideways, 
six inches from the ground, virtually handing the Ravens the lead -- and we 
all bellowed on our barstools with gold-toothed laughter as we imagined 
Wyatt dressed up in a French maid outfit, screaming PENIS at his television 
set.
      The Steelers prevented Wyatt's potential nightmare with a dramatic 
win, but nevertheless fixed into place a rather grotesque Fearsome Foursome 
at the top of the weekly standings.  Wyatt won the week for the first time 
in a year, pulling himself above the playoff line in the process.  Robert 
Hassanali, Kurt Scwartz, and Jason Sullivan -- with a combined total of 4 
money finishes so far this year --  rounded out the Top 4.  Robert Emerton 
solidified his yearly lead with another money finish, and Money won a 
tiebreaker against a snakebitten Wego to snag the final spot.  Eric Emerton 
fell far short of tying Chris Sabbe's record of 7 straight weeks of winning 
money, placing 20th for the week.  And the playoff picture shifted for the 
first time in 3 weeks -- Wyatt took back his playoff spot from fiance Kathy 
Walser; and Mike Godsey continued his freefall, finishing next-to-last and 
surrendering his playoff ticket to Hassanali.

Stats!
--------
- Wyatt's weekly win is the 10th of his life, tying him for 5th all-time.  
It is the 9th time that Kevin Sabbe has finished in last place, which is 7th 
all-time.

- It has now been 90 weeks since Eric Emerton, winner of 3 Slates, has won 
the week.  It has now been 15 weeks since Bill Ellis, current holder of the 
Slate, has won any weekly cash.

- This week there were 5 "swing games" where at least 1/3 of the pool 
picked 
each team.  Only Funky Wyatt got all 5 games correctly.

- Since Week 2, Mike Godsey is 10-24 in "swing games."

- Eric Emerton is the only one who is 8-0 in Bills games.
- Jason Sullivan and Jen Alley are 7-0 in Bears games.
- Sullivan is also perfect in Eagles games, the only one to do so.
- Scott Wyatt is the only one to be undefeated in Cardinal games.
- Scott and Tully Wyatt are the only two poolsters to be perfect (14-0) on 
Raider games.
- Money is the only one who is 7-0 with the Ravens.
- Kurt Schwartz is 7-0 with the Giants.
- Bill Ellis is the only one who is perfect with the Chiefs.
- Tully is the only one to be 8-0 with the Bengals.
- DOliver s the only one to be perfect with the Jets.

- Mike Godsey is 2-13 with games involving New England or New Orleans.
- Wego is the only poolster to be 0-7 with any team (Dallas).
- Chris Sabbe is 3-19 with the Broncos, Jaguars, and Redskins.

- As a pool, we're 51% with our 2-picks, but we're sitting at 41% in the 
1-spot.
- Jason Sullivan is 24-0 with his 14-, 12-, and 11-picks.
- Robert Emerton is 1-7 with his 1-picks.  So is Diane.
- Adam Jennings is 1-7 with his 8-pick, while he has a winning record with 
all his other picks which are 6 and higher.

- This was only the second time this year where there hasn't been at least 
two Emertons in the money.



If Only....
---------------
...the Ravens could have held on, Schwartz wins the week for the first time 
in 57 weeks.  Same thing if Buffalo had held on.  Or Detroit.  Or if Tampa 
Bay coulda beat the Niners!  Ha!

...the Eagles had beaten the Broncos, Wego wins the week.

...the Chiefs or Titans has won, Sullivan wins his 13th week.

...Dallas has lost, Cowboy-hating Money wins the week.  Or if the Texans has 
lost to the Browns.

...the Packers had won, Bill Ellis not only wins money, but wins the week.

...the Vikings had won, Farnsworth wins the week.

...the Saints had won, an Emerton wins the week again (Robert this time).

...the Jaguars has won, Wyatt would've still won the week.  This is the only 
game where the result could've been different and Wyatt would've still won.


Picks of the Week
-------------------------
Adam Jennings got a couple shouts for actually putting big points on the 
G-Men instead of just talking about them, but it was Jason Sullivan's 10 on 
the Ram that took it down -- the 15th POW of his life.  The next best has 
just 8 POWs.
    COW was a runaway.  Kevin Sabbe said he could smell the side of beef 
coming his way, and indeed, he gets the COW for his 13 on the Bills -- even 
though he almost won that game.

Most dots won: 323, Sullivan on St. Louis
Most dots lost: 529, Kevin Sabbe on Buffalo




Vote for the most unbreakable FunkyRecord!
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Eric Emerton just fell short of tying Sabbe's mark of 7 straight weeks in 
the money, an all-time record that SuperStatMan JLee termed "notable, but 
not outstanding."  Which begged the queston: What FunkyRecords *are* 
outstanding, and which ones (if any) are unbreakable?  Weekly Update takes a 
closer look....

THE STANDARD GREATS:

ERIC EMERTON, 3 Slates.
Like the Yankees' impressive list of World Championships, this is clearly a 
great mark.  It's also equally clear that this record will not stand 
forever.

DAVE WINTER, 127 out of 136 points.
Nobody has ever scored more points in a single week.  Sure, the 16-game 
weeks are relatively rare, but the next best score in the history of Funk is 
120, which is the biggest disparity (by far), even in comparison to all the 
other "smaller" weeks.

DAVE WINTER, 89 out of 91 points.
Nobody has ever missed fewer points.  But the next five scores that week 
were 88, 88, 88, 87, and 87.  (Maybe this is the most impressive mark in the 
history of the FunkyPool: 19 total points missed by 6 people).

CHRIS SABBE, 6 weekly wins in one season.
This is the most hotly debated record (the only debated record?) in the 
history of the FMNFLP.  It seems very impressive, but it was done in a year 
when there were only 10 FMNFLP participants.  Mike Godsey argues that the 
"actual" record is....

MIKE GODSEY, 5 weekly wins in one season.
This was done when there were 22 participants.  "With 10 people in this 
pool, Sabbe's record would get broken over and over again," Godsey will tell
anyone who pretends to listen.  "But my record will never, ever be broken."

MIKE GODSEY, 6 straight weekly wins following trips to church
Over a span of 24 weeks, Godsey went to church 6 times and won the week on 
all 6 Sundays, and those only.  It also closely followed the deaths of 
Granny Godsey and Auntie Kay, two sports fans and churchgoers, making it 
even spookier/cooler.  The odds of winning those 6 weeks and those 6 only, 
according to JLee, are 1 in 350,439, 984.  But while this might be the 
coolest mark in the FMNFLP, it's not really a record.

MONEY, 11 money finishes in one season.
This makes sense.

MIKE GODSEY, 9 consecutive seasons with a weekly win.
In one sense, this is statistically impressive, and potentially untouchable. 
  But on the other hand, this was done while Godsey was also finishing in 
last place just as often.  His "all-or-nothing" attitude had people calling
him both "The King of the Weekly Wins" and "Clown of the Year"
and thus this 
record is debatable to say the least.

CHRIS SABBE, 7 straight weeks in the money.
Alright, we're tired of hearing about this now, but still: Emerton just did 
6, and barely.  Only twice has somebody hit 5.

ERIC EMERTON, winning week by 19 points.
This sounds so nasty, almost unbreakable.  But Kathy once won a week by 17, 
and Sabbe just came within a couple games of absolutely crushing it.  Still, 
it's nasty.  But not as nasty as this:

JEN ALLEY, beating Adam Jennings by 93 points.
This was in a 15-game week.  Again, sounds unbeatable, but Godsey once beat 
Schussel by 88.

D OLIVER, 187 weeks out of the cellar
Dylan finished in last place in Week 7 of 1994, when there were 10 
participants in the pool.  He hasn't finished in last place since then.  
Money has NEVER finished in last place, but his current streak is 40 weeks 
behind Oliver's.


And then there are the marks of more dubious distinction:

PATRICK GODSEY, 125 weeks with no weekly wins.
This is the most infamous streak in the pool's history.  It was even 
highlighted in pink.  Nobody has ever reached triple digits, and it did seem 
for a couple years that our BAMF would never win the prize.  But in his 
defense, he did finish in 2nd place a few times, and once lost the weekly 
win due to a tiebreaker.  Furthermore, there are a couple big names on his 
tail right now: The most prolific Slate champion in our history is currently 
at 90, and our current Slate holder is currenly at 71.  Adam Jennings is 
also currently at 73, which reminds us....

ADAM JENNINGS, 139 weeks with one weekly win.
He tied for first with Mike Schussel, and won the tiebreaker.  One fewer 
point, or a lost tiebreaker, and Adam would have 139 weeks highlighted in 
pink...and counting.

TULLY WYATT, 35 weeks with no money.
This streak is arguably as (un)impressive as Patrick's pink streak, and was 
certainly as excruciating.  Like Patrick, Wyatt was heckled unmercifully by 
JLee, to the point where he almost retired on several occasions (shocking, 
we know).  Underscoring the gnarliness of this slump is the fact that nobody 
else has ever come close to touching this number -- Jennings is next worst 
of all-time with a mere 22.  The worst current streak is 15.

MIKE SCHUSSEL, 5 points in one week.
This is JLee's pick for the most amazing record.  5 points in one week, and 
two of those points came in overtime.  Believe it or not, though, 
SchussDaddy has a defense.  That week was totally gnarly, and we all got 
butchered.  And Scott Wyatt, in that same week, actually got fewer games 
right -- he got only one game right, and that team won by a field goal.  
Diane Emerton has also missed an "imperfect week" by a single game.

CHRIS SABBE, 193 weeks with no POW.
He has never received Pick of the Week, though he has been here from the 
beginning.  The next longest streak is 102.  Is Sabbe the victim of 
slanderous libel?  Or is he the victim of being born an actual whore?  A 
debate that has raged on, and will rage again...


The polls are now open on the FunkyPool website.  It's a little confusing 
since we screwed up the first poll and had to re-do it, but you'll figure it 
out....