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FRESH MINT! Money perfect for first time in FunkHistory
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After 11 years and over 4500 individual attempts, the Perfect Week has
finally been achieved. Scoring 105 out of 105 points possible, Dylan
"Money" Retsek didn't miss a single game, netting the "Perfect Week Jackpot"
and rendering last week's "best achievement" debate completely moot. The
only grey cloud in the Money's silver lining was the fact that because the
week was so easy (every single favorite won), Retsek only gained one point
on the overall leader, Robert Emerton. Mr. Emerton missed only his "1" on
the Titans, which would have been a new FunkyRecord had it not been for
Money's perfection.
In addition to his record excellence, Money also established a
corresponding record for most money won in one week, posting a profit of
$214.80. With his winnings, Money will also surely set a new mark for money
won in one season, although FunkyOfficials have not confirmed the "Perfect
Week Jackpot" will count for such statistical purposes. The good news for
Emerton, Kevin Sabbe, Jennings, Farnsworth, and Jen Retsek: Thanks to the
relatively recent formation of the "Perfect Week Jackpot," they actually get
their weekly cash (in the previous format, the perfect poolster simply won
all the weekly cash). The bad news for the rest of us: The new "Perfect
Week Jackpot" is now $7.20.
In the yearly standings overall, Robert Emerton did more than hold his
ground, finishing in 2nd place and extending his lead over everybody but
Money. The ultra-boring week damaged Jason Sullivan, who lost 16 points
(and second place) to Eric Emerton. The Retseks charged up to 5th and 6th
place, while Kurt Schwartz and Scott Wyatt fell two places each. The
playoff picture, for the third time in four weeks, stayed exactly the same.
Random Stats!
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- Just a few days after FunkNation voted "DOliver's 187 weeks out of the
cellar" as the greatest mark in the history of the FunkyPool, Money iced a
perfect week, and DOliver finished 2 points out of last place. DOliver
would have finished in the basement if the Saints, Texans, Cardinals, or
Eagles had won. Or if the Jets could score 1 time out of 4 tries from the
3-yard line.
- Money's weekly win is the 11th of his life, putting him 5th on the
all-time list. It was his 47th money finish, tying him for 6th all-time.
It was Jen Retsek's 45th money finishing, passing Wyatt into 8th all-time.
Ken Vis finished last for the 2nd time in his career.
- Only two times in the past three weeks has somebody gone undefeated (5-0)
in "swing games" (at least 1/3 of the pool for either team in that game),
and both times that person has won the week (Wyatt last week, Money this
week).
- It has now been 91 weeks since Eric Emerton, winner of 3 Slates, has won
the week. It has now been 16 weeks since Bill Ellis, current holder of the
Slate, has won any weekly cash.
- Eric Emerton is the only one who is 8-0 in Bills games.
- Jason Sullivan and Jen Alley are 8-0 in Bears games.
- Scott Wyatt is the only one to be 8-0 in Cardinal games.
- Scott and Tully Wyatt are the only two poolsters to be perfect (16-0) in
Raider games.
- Money is the only one who is 8-0 with the Ravens.
- Kurt Schwartz is the only one who is 8-0 with the Giants.
- DOliver is the only one to be 8-0 with the Jets.
- Ken Vis and Jen Alley are the only two to be 9-0 with the Bengals.
- Sullivan finally missed an Eagles game.
- Tully Wyatt finally missed with the Bengals.
- Bill Ellis finally missed with the Chiefs.
- Mike Godsey is 4-13 with games involving New England or New Orleans.
- Wego is the only poolster to be 0-7 with any team (Dallas).
- Chris Sabbe is 9-31 games involving the Broncos, Jaguars, and Redskins,
Lions, or Chiefs.
- The pool in general has a winning record with every team except Dallas and
Denver.
- Nobody has yet to win a single point by picking San Francisco.
- As a pool, we're 52% with our 2-picks, but we're sitting at 40% in the
1-spot.
- Jason Sullivan is 27-0 with his 14-, 12-, and 11-picks.
- Robert Emerton is 1-8 with his 1-picks. It's the only pick he missed this
week.
- Diane Emerton is also 1-8 with her 1-pick.
- Adam Jennings is 2-7 with his 8-pick, while he has a winning record with
all his other picks which are 6 and higher.
- Chris Sabbe both has a losing record with his 1-, 2-, 3-, 4-, 5-, and
6-picks. So does Wego.
- This was only the third time this year where there hasn't been at least
two Emertons in the money.
IF ONLY....
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- If the Titan had won, Robert Emerton and Jen Retsek would have split the
"Perfect Week Jackpot." Eric Emerton would have finished 4th place with a
104/105.
- If Farnsworth's Raiders had won, he would have had a perfect week, winning
by 8.
- If Godsey's Bucs had won, he would have missed perfection by one point.
- If Philly had won, Kevin Sabbe would have missed by one point. He also
would have won if the Packers had won.
- If Miami had won, Adam Jennings would have missed by one point. Or if
Detroit could have beaten the Bears, Jennings' winless streak would be
snapped. Same thing if the Niners had won. Same thing if the Jets could
score on first-and-goal from the 3! Ha!
- If Arizona or Baltimore had won, Robert Emerton win the week again.
- If the Saints had won, Farnsworth wins.
Just Saying.
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We have now heard it said 165 times that Vermeil was "gutsy" in going for
the touchdown at the end of the game. Do they really think we're that
stupid? Or are they that stupid? From the half-yard line, the Chiefs had
roughly a 90% of winning that game by going for it. Maybe even 70-80% if
you want to be extremely charitable to the Raider defense. Whatever, it's
significantly higher than the 50% chance of winning in OT.
What WOULD have been gutsy is kicking the field goal. This would have
told the Raider Nation: "We have a 90% chance of scoring right here. But we
feel our chances of kicking your ass in OT are even greater."
POW/COW
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So last Friday, journals were collected from a certain English class at SLO
High. Out of 31 students, only 10 of them brought their journals to class.
Of those 10, only 6 got full credit. All they had to do was write a page
for each story they read. Sounds pathetic until you realize only 7 of 24
people could find the time to click a button and vote for POW. And these
are people that supposedly like football. These kids hate writing.
Anyway, of the 7 that voted, only 5 voted for an actual pick. Two
people voted for Dylan Retsek. Eric Emerton wrote that "Money has to get
the POW no matter what" and nominated his "only real toss-up" selection of
Cleveland over Tennessee, which separated him from two other nearly-perfect
poolsters. While the former claim is debatable, the choice of picks is
reasonable. Sabbe termed Money's picking all the favorites a "beautiful,
beautiful thing" and selected his Money's Indy pick as a symbolic POW, which
also makes sense. Meanwhile, Jen got two nominatons for her Carolina pick,
since the pick was bold (166 dots) and completely correct (Tampa Bay got
humbled).
So we here at Weekly Update HQ think that Jen's Panther pick wins the
POW. We here at WUHQ feel that picking Money for POW would be as silly as
voting the Patriots as MVP. We here at WUHQ also hate it when Chris Berman
makes all four parts of the cycle, or all four touchdowns in a game, a "play
of the week." But we here at WUHQ have failed to make this point before,
and we do not have any official power whatsoever, so we're gonna have to see
what happens on the web page.
COW, as usual, is more clean cut. Jason Sullivan's 9 on Miami was bad;
DOliver's 10 on the Patriots was considered worse. DOliver went over a
decade without a COW; he now has 2 over the past 6 weeks.
Most dots won: Sullivan, Cle, 249
Most dots lost: Sullivan, Mia, 363
Next Week
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Kevin's Vikings at Scott's Giants
Sully's Patriots at Wyatt's Dolphins
JLee's Niner at Money's Bears
Jennings' Redskins at Godsey's Bucs
and of course....
Kathy's Broncos at Raider Nation
See ya then....
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